Beloved (the character, not the book) is almost a walking
contradiction. She has the body of an 18-year-old woman, and with it the
impulses and desires that come with the age, but mentally and behaviorally she
often acts like an infant. She initiates sexual contact with Paul D, but she
has no memories and does not speak much, almost never elucidating her thoughts
clearly. This makes her relationship with Sethe quite complicated. She feels
love and affection for her, and desires to have her all to herself, but she
also might have used some supernatural powers to choke Sethe when they go
outside. She despises Paul D as someone who pulls Sethe's attention away from
herself, but she tempts him into having sex with her. With the revelation partway
through the book that Beloved is Sethe's child that she murdered in an attempt
to keep her away from slavery, the relationship takes on a whole new dimension.
It becomes increasingly clear that Beloved is functionally incapable of
explaining her feelings, but is terrified of the "dark place" she
existed in during the interim between her murder and eventual reincarnation.
She feels a bond towards her mother, but is emotionally stunted and sometimes
lashes out in an attempt to stay close to Sethe.
From
her first appearance, it is clear that Beloved and Sethe share a special bond.
Her emergence from the water coincides with Sethe out of the blue having an
experience similar to her water breaking. Her behavior for the next few days
mirrors that of a newborn almost exactly, and the few things we get from her
perspective are a strong connection to Sethe, a sentiment that is captured with
words even in thought by Beloved. Despite this connection, however, when Sethe
takes Beloved and Denver to the clearing where Baby Suggs used to preach, she
feels hands around her throat choking her. Beloved then comes to her rescue,
kissing Sethe's neck and rubbing the bruises. Although Sethe is relieved to not
be choked, she is also confused by Beloved's actions. Denver then in private
accuses Beloved of doing the choking, although Beloved denies it. The whole
situation is quite strange: why would Beloved choke her own mother and then
come to kiss the bruises? Furthermore, why is Beloved's reaction to the choking
so intimate? Even if she cannot explain herself, it is clear that Beloved does
not express emotion and connection like anyone else in the novel, as her
relationship with each of the other characters is quite strange. Part of it is
her implied infancy, and that she has only been alive for roughly two years,
but part of it is also what she represents that causes her to act the way she
does. Her fate and current state of existence is due to the horror of slavery
that Paul D and Sethe had to live through, and despite the love that Sethe and
Beloved have for each other, everyone still feels discomfort and confusion
dealing with their past demons in such a literal way. I have not read the book
up to the end, but I would make a guess that this problem is not simply going
to resolve itself, and that most likely more tragedy will occur before Beloved
has anything close to a healthy relationship or existence.
One implication of Beloved's seduction of Paul D (and the degree to which it has anything to do with her love for Sethe--isn't she trying to *hurt* Sethe here?) is that she doesn't necessarily connect sex with love (as she doesn't seem to have any amount of socialization, and wouldn't be privy to the learned association of this "touching" and the kind of powerful emotions she feels for her mother). There's a weird paradox here, as you note: she both seems in control and taken advantage of by Paul (just as he feels taken advantage of by her).
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